Some people treat responsibility like a game of hot potato – they just keep passing it off and hope someone else catches it. And when they finally get called out? Oh, the outrage! The dramatic sighs, the over-the-top excuses, the absolute audacity to act like you’re the problem.
It’s a special kind of talent, really. But the thing about dodging responsibility is that eventually, reality comes knocking – sometimes literally.
That’s exactly the situation one pregnant Redditor found herself in when her roommate decided that being a parent was optional, and his parenting duties landed in her lap.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:Some dads play with their kids, others just play video games and hope someone else does the parenting
One pregnant mom refuses to babysit her roommate’s kids so he can sleep all day, so she woke him up and told him to be a dad
The woman is 7 months pregnant and dealing with her own child, fed up with her roommate constantly locking his kids out of his room, forcing her to watch them
The man plays video games all night and sleeps all day, then expects his pregnant roommate to just watch his kids without even asking her
The woman woke the man up and told him to watch his own kids, as she won’t be babysitting them anymore, but was called a jerk for it
Imagine you’re 7 months pregnant, already taking care of your own child, and just trying to get through the day without collapsing from exhaustion. Now, add 2 more kids, who aren’t even yours, running around unsupervised while their dad is passed out in his room after an all-night video game marathon. Sounds like a nightmare, right? Our OP (original poster) sure thought so.
You see, the OP shares a living space with a man who has 2 kids under 5, who come over twice a week. The problem? Dad-of-the-Year here prefers to game all night and sleep all day, conveniently locking his kids out of the room while they turn the house upside down. And can you guess who the kids turn to when they need something? Yep, the one person who didn’t sign up for the gig: our very pregnant OP.
At first, she helped. Because, you know, they’re just kids. But after a month of being the unpaid, unappointed babysitter, she had enough. She finally put her foot down, told the kids to go to their actual parent for help, and when they said, “But daddy’s asleep,” she marched over and made sure dad got the wake-up call he so desperately needed.
His response? Anger. Apparently, in his mind, since she was already looking after her own son, she might as well take care of his, too. Yeah… that’s not how parenting works. But apparently, his ex felt the same way. She sent the OP a message saying she should’ve just watched the kids because she’s more trustworthy and the guy “needs sleep.” Excuse you? I’m sure a pregnant mom needs her sleep too, but I don’t see the OP complaining.
I get it, parenting is hard, and it’s understandable to want support from others sometimes. But it is not okay to assume that a roommate or friend will automatically step into a parental role, especially without prior discussion. That’s just a sure way to resentment and stress – and stress is exactly what this pregnant OP does not need.
Because stress and pregnancy go together about as well as toddlers and permanent markers—it’s a disaster waiting to happen. The pros say that high levels of stress during pregnancy can increase the risk of complications like premature birth, low birth weight, and even developmental issues for the baby. And running after two wild toddlers that aren’t yours while heavily pregnant is basically the definition of stress.
Expecting a pregnant woman to pick up someone else’s slack just because she’s “better” at parenting is not only unfair, but it’s also flat-out manipulative. Emotional manipulation is a sneaky beast, and people who use it know exactly what they’re doing.
To find out more about this topic, We reached out to Dr. Amelia Kelley PhD, a psychology professor and trauma therapist, for some comments. She told us that emotional manipulation is when a person attempts to undermine your individuality by dismissing your identity or opinions. They often refuse to take accountability for their actions, even when confronted with clear evidence, commonly seen in gaslighting.
We asked Dr. Kelley how guilt-tripping works as a manipulation tactic, and why it is so effective. Kelley explained that guilt-tripping works by shifting focus away from an individual’s own needs and values and instead placing emphasis on the manipulator’s perspective. It instills a sense of emotional obligation or moral failure that can be especially difficult to resist for those who are empathetic or tend to avoid conflict.
We wanted to know how someone can recognize when they are being manipulated versus just being asked for help. Dr. Kelley told us “The difference often lies in the pattern of the relationship: if the dynamic feels one-sided, consistently draining, or leaves you feeling guilty, obligated, or confused, you may be experiencing manipulation rather than a genuine call for help.”
We asked Dr. Kelley how someone can stand their ground against emotional manipulation without feeling guilty. She emphasizes that one strategy is to acknowledge any feelings of guilt without letting them dictate actions. Clearly identifying and naming the manipulation without overexplaining or defending oneself can also be helpful. If someone attempts to distort reality, a firm but calm response, like “This is how I see it,” can reinforce personal truth without engaging in a power struggle.
We wanted to know how one can tell the difference between someone who is deliberately manipulative and someone who is just unaware of their behavior. Kelley suggests that a key difference lies in how the person reacts when their behavior is addressed. Someone unaware of their manipulative tendencies may show genuine remorse, curiosity, or a willingness to grow.
“They may offer empty promises not out of malice but because change requires effort they aren’t yet equipped to sustain. In contrast, a deliberate manipulator is more likely to shift blame, gaslight, or make you feel at fault for even bringing up the issue, reinforcing a cycle of control and confusion,” Kelley explains.
What do you think of this story? Should the poster have stepped in, or was she completely right to draw the line? Let us know your thoughts!
Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not the jerk in this story, as her roommate is an irresponsible parent
