I think that love is an enchanting yet strange little (or big) phenomenon that can have a massive impact on a person. I mean, just think about it, suddenly a person enters our life and consumes so much of our headspace, there has to be magic involved somewhere. Can death really part people who have experienced a love so powerful?
Not according to the original poster (OP), who refused to move on from her late husband even after two decades. But as her sister kept insisting on it and also kept calling her by her maiden name, she just snapped.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:The poster of this story lost her husband about two decades ago and she still considered herself married to him
But her sister didn’t like how loyal she was to her husband and tried to make her move on by removing her ring, getting her to date other people, and even mocking her
She also started calling the poster by her maiden name, dubbed Ms. Jones, and not her legal name, dubbed Mrs. Smith
The poster finally snapped at her and told her to call her by her real name and it hurt her when she kept insisting on calling her otherwise
Today, we dive into Reddit user QueasyBanana143’s story where she tells us about a conflict that erupted with her sister. A little background: her husband passed away two decades ago and she still considered herself to be a married woman. But apparently, her sister had a problem with this.
She didn’t like the fact that OP was still loyal to her husband and refused to go out with other people, even when her sister has tried to make her go. And this forceful attempt to make her move did not go down well with OP, as she was hurt that her sister even tried to remove her ring from her finger and mocked her.
The poster informed us that her friends had also tried to set her up with others, but after she declined their offers, they were polite enough to accept it, unlike her persistent sister. And things just escalated after she started calling OP by her maiden name (dubbed Ms. Jones in the story) and kept ignoring her name (dubbed Mrs. Smith).
She even went as far as making reservations and mailing books to the poster using her maiden name. But one day, Mrs. Smith could take it no more! After her sister called her Ms. Jones, she simply snapped and said, “Don’t call me that. That’s not my name, I am Mrs. Smith.” But the sister said that it wasn’t her name any longer.
However, OP insisted that it was her name and she was never going to change it. She also told this to her sister, but she kept messing with the poster. And she didn’t like it at all; in fact, it actually hurt her. So, she vented online and asked people whether she was wrong for snapping at her sister like that.
While most Redditors expressed their sympathies towards OP, there also sparked a debate among them. Quite a few said that the widow was clearly still grieving and she needed to see a therapist for it. They told her that moving on from her late spouse was not cheating, and she could keep her name and still move on.
Research suggests that the death of a spouse ends the relationship but does not sever all relational bonds. The sense of being connected to the lost figure persists—sometimes exacerbating a sense of having been abandoned, sometimes contributing to a sense of continuing in a relationship, although with an absent partner.
And it looks like the poster might be feeling the continuation of the relationship. There were folks who also commented that they were worried about OP. It has been observed that short, medium, and long-term widowhood leads to a significant increase in depression, which seriously affects the mental health of older people.
Folks said that if she was already suffering through something, the sister was making things worse by forcing her and even mocking her. They felt that the sister was in the wrong here, not the OP. They even called out the people who implied that there was something wrong with the poster.
According to Talkspace, “It’s important to understand that the grieving process doesn’t have a standard timeline. Anyone who’s gone through it knows the process is unique.” Looks like what the Redditors were saying was true. They advised OP to live her life the way she wanted and not let anyone, even her sister, tell her otherwise. And they also told her to establish boundaries with her “toxic pushiness”.
What do you make of that? Do you agree with their verdict? Let us know in the comments!
Many people said that her sister should respect her boundaries and not force her to move on, while others also suggested that the poster take grief counseling
