50 Of The Most Savage Responses People Had To Jerks (Best Of All Time)

Ever had a heated online argument with a stranger, only to think of the perfect comeback three days later? Well, on the internet clock, a few days might as well be an eternity, and everyone’s already moved on.

But over on r/clevercomebacks, wasting time is unheard of. With over 2 million members, this subreddit is full of sharp retorts for any situation. At We, we’re big fans. So we’ve rounded up the best comebacks they have to offer. Keep reading, you might just find the right response to silence that next awkward comment.

#1 Yep May Be It Is True

The feeling of disappointment when you don’t have a clever reply on the spot actually has a name—it’s called ‘l’esprit de l’escalier’, or ‘staircase wit’. This term was coined by the 18th century French philosopher Denis Diderot in his dramatic essay, Paradox of the Actor.

The phrase comes from an incident Diderot had over dinner. “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and doesn’t collect his thoughts until he’s at the bottom of the stairs,” the philosopher wrote.

#2 Do You Have One?

There’s a reason why we sometimes freeze and struggle to respond when someone says something upsetting. Our body sees it as a social danger and goes into defense mode.

“When someone says something offensive or harmful that hurts us or hurts a member of a community that’s really important to us, our nervous system can get activated,” said psychologist Kerry McBroome for Time Magazine. “The parts of the brain that are responsible for coming up with clever or witty things to say are just not online—they’re nervous and sensing a threat.”

#3 Never Underestimate A Woman

#4 Found It On Twitter. Hope I Am Not Too Late

Of course, some folks are naturally good at throwing verbal punches and do so whenever they can. But if you need some pointers in that area, blogger and podcaster Myke Macapinlac has tips on how to be more quick-witted and funny.

According to him, one of the first things you should learn is how to stay present in the moment. “Catch yourself when you’re ruminating and remind yourself to slow down your breathing. By doing so, you’ll be able to relax your body and bring yourself back to your current situation,” he advises.  

#5 Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

#6 Just Another Reason To Keep My Purple Hair

If you’re having a conversation, Myke suggests really focusing on what the other person is saying. “It’s much easier to come up with the right things to say when you’re actually listening,” he notes.

#7 “Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”

#8 They Don’t Give A Damn

#9 Well Then Rip

Another key tip is to stop caring so much. Macapinlac points out, “Most individuals who struggle socially think that all eyes are on them. They’re so afraid of being judged by others that’s why they stifle their personality. To avoid embarrassing themselves, they just remain quiet.”

“Even if you say something silly, I can assure you that people would’ve forgotten about you by the time they get home”. By letting go of this fear, you’ll be more relaxed, which will help you make clever remarks faster.

#10 What A Good Reply

#11 Keep Your Stick On The Ice

#12 Love This Guy

Sometimes it’s good to prepare in advance. “Get a piece of paper and take the time to reflect. Think of previous situations where you wanted to say something clever but you weren’t able to. And then, brainstorm some good comebacks that you could’ve said,” the blogger recommends. 

#13 I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh

#14 Not Be A Baby Machine

#15 Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love

It’s also important to manage your emotions. When you’re calm and collected, you come across as more confident. Macapinlac encourages trying out meditation and journaling to be more mindful.

“[This] will allow you to control the way you think. You’ll be able to identify and reframe your limiting beliefs. This will help you become less reactive, especially during stressful moments”.

#16 Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe

#17 You’re The Problem

#18 Room Temperature IQ

Don’t forget to take inspiration from others. “What better way to improve your sense of humor than by watching more comedy shows and stand-up routines,” Myke says. “Pay close attention to [the comedian’s] material. Notice the timing and delivery of the joke. When something amuses you, ask yourself why by taking a moment to analyze it”.

#19 Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

#20 Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

#21 Why Don’t You Stand Up For Yourself?

However, if you’re around someone you want to build a lasting relationship with, be considerate and don’t say things that could ruin someone’s day. “If you want to learn how to be witty and funny, always leave people better than before you met them.”

#22 Some Good Luck!

#23 Thank You Andy Wang!

#24 It Was Social Distancing Haha

Lastly, be patient with yourself and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone. “The more you practice, the better you’ll be at bantering with people,” Myke concludes.

#25 Definitely Atheists That Do This