Family is where we expect unconditional support, but sometimes, it’s where disagreements cut the deepest.
On the subreddit r/TwoHotTakes, a woman who goes by the nickname VeterinarianOk7010 shared how her sister, a mother of three, often counted on her for help with childcare. She always said yes, until one night, her mental health struggles became too overwhelming and she needed to rest.
However, the sister was anything but understanding.
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This woman has been through so much with her depression
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
But her sister still doesn’t believe she deserves a break
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: VeterinarianOk7010
How many people have depression and how does it manifest?
It sounds like the sister isn’t very familiar with the affects of poor mental health. But the truth is, it takes a toll on our entire well-being, including the ability to work, and our relationships with friends, family, and the broader community.
Mental health conditions are not uncommon. Hundreds of millions suffer from them yearly, and many more do over the entire course of their lives. It’s estimated that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men will experience major depression at some point. Other conditions, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, are less common but still have a large impact on people’s lives.
During depressive episodes, various symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day, and may include:
Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessnessAngry outbursts, irritability, or frustration, even over small mattersLoss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sportsSleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too muchTiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effortReduced appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gainAnxiety, agitation, or restlessnessSlowed thinking, speaking, or body movementsFeelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blameTrouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions, and remembering thingsFrequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, or suicideUnexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Can you imagine babysitting three (!) kids even with only a few of these?
Words do make a difference
If someone in our family has depression, there are also things that we can do to help that person. Although you can’t “fix” them, even words can have an impact. According to experts, saying these things might help:
“You’re not alone. I’m here for you during this tough time.”“It may be hard to believe right now, but the way you’re feeling will change.”“Please tell me what I can do now to help you.”“Even if I’m not able to understand exactly how you feel, I care about you and want to help.”“You’re important to me. Your life is important to me.”“When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, or minute—whatever you can manage.”
On the other hand, phrases like these only make the situation worse:
“This is all in your head”“Everyone goes through tough times.”“Try to look on the bright side.”“Why do you want to die when you have so much to live for?”“I can’t do anything about your situation.”“Just snap out of it.”“You should be feeling better by now.”
I think we can agree the sister’s message belongs on the second list, too.
People shared a lot of reactions to the woman’s story
Some also added their own similar experiences
