Sharing a home with your partner sounds sweet, until you realize one of you is acting like a landlord. Relationships are supposed to be partnerships, right? But somehow, when it comes to actual ownership, like your name on the house, it all gets weirdly one-sided. Turns out, love might be blind, but deeds sure aren’t.
One netizen has the internet furiously side-eyeing her partner after he made it painfully clear that, while she’s good enough to raise their child and clean the house, she’s apparently not “contributing” enough to deserve her name on the house deed.
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:Some folks build dreams together, others draft prenups before even popping the question
One woman is worried about her future after her partner of 5 years refused to add her name to the house deed, despite making her quit work to raise their kid
The woman has been a stay-at-home mom since the baby was born, and quit her job when her partner demanded it so she could take care of the child and house
The woman’s partner refuses to add her to the house deed or even update his will and life insurance to include her because she’s not “financially contributing”
The woman worries about her future and wonders if she’s being unreasonable to want her partner to add her to the house deed
The OP (original poster) and her partner have been together for five years and share a 2-year-old kid. After the baby was born, the mom stepped away from her job, which her partner asked her to do, to focus on parenting full-time.
The OP’s partner makes a decent income, so they agreed she’d stay home until the little one started nursery. Life seemed pretty stable, until the OP casually brought up the idea of becoming a co-owner of the family’s future home. And that’s when the red flags started flying.
This dude shut down the idea immediately. His reason? Apparently, the OP doesn’t “financially contribute.” Never mind the unpaid full-time labor of parenting, or the fact that she hasn’t been dipping into his bank account.
She’s been living off her own savings for years, keeping the home together and wiping yogurt off walls without asking for a dime. Still, no deed for her. Oh, and don’t even ask about updating his will or life insurance. That’s also a no. But apparently, he wants to get married someday. Excuse me while I go raise an eyebrow.
Look, raising a kid is no small task – it’s a full-time job with overtime, no lunch breaks, and a demanding boss who throws mashed peas at your face. In fact, studies from 80 major cities around the worldshow that the average stay-at-home parent’s unpaid labor is valued at around $4,500 per month, which is $54,000 every year.
But the OP isn’t just worried about money; she’s questioning whether her partner is truly committed. Sure, he talks about marriage “someday,” but if he’s unwilling to protect her or their child with even the most basic legal steps, how solid is that foundation? A ring doesn’t mean much if you’re not even on the emergency contact list.
According to legal experts, couples who aren’t married and don’t have formal agreements are on very shaky legal ground, especially if one person owns all the assets. “Common law marriage” isn’t recognized in most places. If something goes wrong, a stay-at-home partner can be left with exactly zero financial security, even if they’ve raised the kids and managed the home for years.
So, is the OP expecting too much by wanting her name on the deed? I have to go with no on this one. Because this isn’t about greed, it’s about protection. She’s raising a child, maintaining a household, and contributing in ways that can’t be measured by pay stubs. She’s not asking for a yacht, just a little security and recognition in the place she calls home.
Unless this man is planning to cough up the cash to replace her efforts, maybe, just maybe, he should rethink the whole “you’re not contributing” thing.
What do you think of this story? Is the poster being unreasonable to expect her partner to add her to the house deed? Drop your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens encourage the woman to get a job and tell her partner she is leaving if he doesn’t include her in his plans
